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Articles of Interest
Behavior Management
Using Behavior Charts
Reward Ideas
Consequences For Young Kids & Toddlers
When To Negotiate With Kids
Summer Vacation Problems
Kids Stealing From Parents
Attention Seeking Behavior
Why You Shouldn't Argue With Your Child
Bedtime Arguments And Homework
Regain Parental Control
Dealing With Defiant Young Kids and Toddlers
Using Natural Consequences
Summer Break Strategies
Create Accountability During Summer Break
Gaining Respect From Kids
Parenting Angry Teens
When Good Kids Misbehave
When Kids Only Act Out At Home
When No Means No
Start Parenting More Effectively
When Kids Ignore Consequences
When Your Kids Ignore You
Giving Effective Time-Outs
Dealing With Power Struggles Part 1
Avoiding Power Struggles Part 2
Setting Limits With Difficult Kids
How To Stop A Fight
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Manipulative Behavior
Keep Your Summer Break Peaceful
Summer Survival For Parents
Disciplining Your Two Year Old
How To Stop Kids From Cursing
Inappropriate Soiling
Consequences For Teens
The Truth About Bullies
Stopping A Temper Tantrum

Potty Training

School

Classroom Management

Classroom Management Strategies

First Year Survival

Stop Bullying In Your Classroom

Controlling The Uncontrollable Class

Child Development

Birth to Age Five

Six to Eleven

Preteens & Teens

Importance Of Play In Child Development

Chores

Sleep

ADHD/ADD

Tips For Parenting ADHD and  Spirited Kids

Unlocking The Secrets To Good Behavior

Summer Planning For A Child With ADHD

Stress Management

Stress Management Tips

Stress-Guarding Your Family

Managing Holiday Stress

Preventing Parental Burnout

How To Be A Calm Parent

Alternative Families

General Parenting/Family 

Top 5 Parenting Mistakes
Parenting The Child You Have
Gaining Respect From Kids
Spending Money On Kids
Fix Your Morning Routine
Perfect Parents Dont Exist
How To Interview A Nanny
When Good Parents Have Difficult Children
Parenting Gifted Children
New Year's Resolutions For Parents
Deciding Appropriate Parenting Rules
Is Your Child A Know-it-all?
Successful Goal Setting
Walking Away From A Fight With Your Child
Creating Accountability In Your Home
Good Cop Bad Cop Parenting
Help Transition Your Kids Through Divorce
Parenting Picky Eaters
When Toddlers Are Picky Eaters
Help Kids Cope With Pet Loss
Great Book Series For Kids
What You Shouldn't Say To Your Kids

Keep Cool When Kids Push Your Buttons

Parenting Your Teen
Helping Kids Adjust To The New Baby
Summer Structure For Kids
Teaching Kids How To Save Money
Selecting The Right Pet
75 Ways To Say Good Job
Getting Kids To Love Reading

Why Boredom Is Good For Kids
Getting Along With Your Preteen
Bedwetting Solutions
Summer Job Ideas For Teens
Halloween Safety Tips
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Autism/Sensory Disorders/Anxiety
Tips To Tackle Tricky Behaviors
 

 

 

 

 

Restless and Bored: How to Use Structure to Keep Your Child from Getting into Trouble This Summer
 

  

 

Kids often see the summer months as a time to do whatever they please, with no responsibilities or academic pressures. Some kids expect an endless range of fun activities-and besides that, they're hanging out with friends, sleeping until noon, and might see an easing of the rules as their reward for making it through another school year. Your child might be imagining a summer that reality can rarely deliver, which sets them up to be let down. The change in routine alone can be sufficient to throw some kids off-kilter. When you combine these factors-expectations and a change in schedule-with an increase in family togetherness (or claustrophobia, depending on how you look at it), it's only a matter of time before the level of conflict rises in your home.

 

Is it best to have some kind of structure in place during the summer? How do you balance it with free time?

Having some amount of structure in the summer is helpful for most families. Determining how much structure to put into place will depend on the individual needs of your children. Some kids typically do well with less structure and are able to spend their time engaging in acceptable ways, but many others don't. If your children tend to act out and get into trouble if left to their own devices, then planning out a detailed summer schedule of activities might be the solution. It requires some work up front, but it can prevent many problems from arising along the way. Work with your child to create a list of activities that they are interested in doing. Some might involve weekly lessons and practice times, while others are more flexible. Schedule the morning, midday, and evening routine, including mealtimes, designated chore time, activities and free time. Post the schedule in a spot where family members can easily reference it. This may sound too rigid for your child. But look at it this way: if the summer has begun, and your child is already bored, isn't helping out at home and is causing trouble with siblings and friends, consider setting up a structure that is similar to what they're used to at school. At school, there are set times for different subjects and activities. James Lehman's opinion is that planning out a schedule for your child at home will help manage his behavior. You can avoid power struggles by deferring to the schedule when your child needs help staying on-task. The intention is not to be overly strict or inflexible, but rather to help teach children how to manage their time effectively.


Ideally, there should be a mix of both planned activities and down time. The specifics of what this will look like will depend on the age and needs of your kids. However, here is an example of a scheduled summer day for a 5 to 12 year old child:

7:30am- Wake up, dress, breakfast

9:00am- Outdoor play/exercise (weather permitting) around the house or at local playground

10:30am- Summer Reading Program (Schools and libraries often have these set up for parents.)

12:00pm- Lunch

1:00pm- Swim lessons

3:00pm- Chore time

4:00pm- Free time at home

5:30pm- Dinner

6:30pm- Night-time routine- bathing, tidying up, etc.

7:30pm- Quiet activities- reading, drawing, and listening to music (whatever helps your kids wind down.)

8:30pm- Bed

Setting up a summer schedule for your teenager will look a bit different. The hope is that by the time kids reach their teen years, they will be more capable of managing their time, but many will need a loose outline of daily expectations. One significant difference in a teen's schedule will be the possible addition of employment or volunteer work. It is completely reasonable to expect that your teen ventures into the working world or volunteers his time on a part-time basis. Below is an example of a scheduled summer day for your teen:

9:00am- Out of bed, breakfast, shower, dress, etc.

10:30am- Chore time

11:30am- Free time at home

1pm- Attend part-time job or volunteer position

4pm- Free time at home

5:30pm- Dinner with family

6:30pm- Free time to socialize with peers

10pm weekdays- Curfew

Again, these are just examples of structured and balanced summer schedules-you will figure out what works for you. The key point is that many parents find that it creates more stress for the whole family when kids are over-booked. When there is too much on a child's plate, it will likely result in resistance and power struggles. Build in free time to the schedule in amounts that will give your child time to slow down, relax, or accept a last minute invitation to spend time with a friend. You may have to experiment with how much free time will be the right amount-because having too much or too little both carry problems. Ultimately, making the transition into summer vacation can be a smooth and pleasant one, if you take the needs of your family into consideration and come up with a game plan.

Having structure in the summer can also help kids make a more seamless transition back into school come fall. They will already be accustomed to meeting the demands of a schedule (and getting up in the morning), whereas if no summer structure was in place, the school routine could be a shock to their systems once the new semester rolls around again.

Tips on introducing a summer structure in your home:

Introducing a new way of doing things is often met with resistance, so be ready for your kids to protest the implementation of a summer schedule. Use the example of last summer (or this one if it is already underway and going poorly) to tell your children that you want things to go differently. You could say, "Remember last summer when you were bored and arguing with each other all the time? Having a schedule can help make this summer go more smoothly." Stay very positive about the new plan and allow your child to fill in some of the daily activities so that they can contribute and therefore, be more on-board with this change. The introduction of a summer schedule should be planned out ahead of time and discussed in a family meeting-avoid the temptation to announce it in the heat of the moment when your kids are acting out. This will only make it seem like a punishment.

Once you have rolled out the new schedule, expect your kids to take a little time to adjust, but do your best to stick to it consistently. This will create the most benefit for the family. That being said, it's also okay to occasionally alter the agenda to accommodate special plans or catch up on rest if it is needed. One of the key points to remember is that you want your child to have time to relax over the summer without losing all sense of routine. You'll be surprised at how holding on to a reasonable structure in the summer will give him that extra help so he can transition smoothly when the new school year rolls around in the fall.

 

By Erin Schlicher


Erin Schlicher coached parents on the Parental Support Line for the Total Transformation and Total Focus Programs for nearly two years. She holds a Masters in Counseling from Regis University in Denver, Colorado. Erin has worked with children and families in a helping capacity for more than ten years. She is also the proud mother of a delightful 9-month-old baby girl.

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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