Sibling
rivalry rears its ugly head in every household.
Prevention is the key to managing sibling conflict.
Learn to look for triggers and have clear consequences
set up for your kids. We've included some helpful
tips for prevention and conflict resolution. Check
them out and get a hold of sibling rivalry before it
gets a hold of you!!
How to Avoid
Conflicts and Teach Kids Healthy Coping Mechanisms:
Teach your kids healthy
communication and coping skills during everyday routines.
Teaching your kids to use "I statements" is
productive. For example, your child might say to a
sibling, "When you call me names I feel angry," instead of merely yelling
or striking out during a conflict. Positive communication skills will come in handy
with friends, teachers, parents, and other people in
your child's life. The book
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
is a great resource while teaching kids about "I"
statements. It's been around for a long time
and valued by parents and teachers alike.
Have clear consequences set
up. For example, name calling might be 10 minutes
off television time or hitting is a time-out. In addition, use a
behavior chart to structure positive rewards. Have some incentives set up
for acceptable behavior. Check out some of our
free behavior chartsand read our article on
Using Behavior Charts to help get you
started! We also have a specific chart for getting
along with siblings.
Be a good role model for
your children. Resolve your own conflicts in healthy ways. Yelling
and fighting with a spouse or family member may cause children to
model that behavior.
Avoid comparing your
children. This will only set the stage for future
rivalry.
Be aware of patterns in
your children's behavior. Is there a time of day
when conflicts often arise? Is there a consistent
cause of conflict? For example, do your kids have a
fight every day over which television shows to
watch? Pay close attention to your children's
behavior and intervene before a problem arises. Help
your kids develop resolutions before they are in the
heat of a battle.
Nurture your children's
relationships with each other and give them positive
feedback. As always, catch them being good. When your kids are
getting along, let them know you appreciate their positive behavior
*If your kid's behavior is continues to be
challenging, you can check out a free trial
of a great program called
The Total TransformationŽto get a handle
on difficult behavior. It's run by James Lehman, MSW, who has worked for
years with troubled teens and children!
