When Kids Lie

   Stop the Bad Behavior Simple parenting techniques that tame difficult kids.  Try it now!TheTotalTransformation.com

 Why Kids Lie

• Some kids lie because they feel that they are not meeting their parent's expectations. Are you putting too much pressure on your child to
  perform academically, athletically, or in other ways? Are your expectations realistic for a child that age?
   
• Sometimes, parental consequences are too harsh. A child may lie to avoid a punishment that he feels is unfair.
   
• Children may lie to protect a friend or family member.
   
• A child may lie to preserve his self image.

Prevention

• Role model honesty. Remember, children watch adults closely. Even when we tell small lies, we teach our children to do the same.
   
• Try not to immediately place blame. Instead, focus on the problem. When we immediately explode at our kids, we may cause panic and fear, and they may lie as a coping mechanism. Try to gently find out what happened. Your children are more likely to share the truth when you stay calm and don't overreact.
   
• Make sure that your child did truly lie. It's devastating for a child to be punished when they are telling the truth.
   
• Don't punish your child for telling the truth.
   
• Make sure that your consequences are reasonable and not too harsh.
  
   

If Your Child Lies...
 

• Give yourself some time away from your child to calm down and think about how to handle the situation. Tell your child that you can better talk with her when you are calm. If lying is a consistent problem, it may be a trigger for you. Exploding at your child will only worsen the situation.
   
• Follow through with consequences even if your child eventually tells the truth. Let him know that you appreciate his honesty, but you still have to dole out a consequence for the behavior that caused the lie.
   
• After resolving the immediate situation, talk with your child about the future problems that lying can cause. Clarify your family values and beliefs regarding lying.
   
   

Finally...if your child's lying continues to be destructive and compulsive, you may need to seek some assistance from a qualified professional counselor.  You can also check out a program called The Total Transformation to get a handle on difficult behavior.  It's developed by James Lehman, MSW, who worked for years with troubled teens and children!

        by Joanne McNulty, Free Printable Behavior Charts

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